The Vegas Line on the Upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Movie

Before Opening Day:

Odds your girlfriend or wife wants to see the film opening weekend: 6-1

Odds your boyfriend or husband wants to see it opening weekend: 7-5

Odds the screening you want to see will be sold out: 4-1

Odds the IT department at work will be short-staffed on opening day: No Bets Accepted

Odds Jennifer Garner will be taking the kids to see their Batman dad on the big screen opening weekend: 100-1

Over/Under: The number of times before opening day the fan boys at work will ask if you are “pumped” “stoked,” “psyched” or “excited” to see the new movie: 3.5

Over/Under: Number of times you respond, “Not really, Superman would kick Batman’s ass in a fair fight.”: 2.5

Odds critic Peter Travers will give it one of his BIGGEST BLURB OF THE YEAR!-type blurbs: No bets accepted

 

About the Movie

Odds the battle happens in Gotham: 10-1

Odds the battle happens in Metropolis: 2-1

Odds Batman puts the moves on Lois Lane: 20-1

Odds Superman hooks up with Catwoman: 1000-1

Odds Superwoman shows up and disses both heroes for macho ego-boosting behavior: 3-1

Odds someone at The Daily Planet mentions posting a podcast to Clark Kent : 200-1

Odds Batman will have some super-tricked-out Iron Man-like fighting suit to battle Superman, because otherwise Superman is going to kick his ass: 5-4

Odds Batman will get a hold of some Kryptonite, because otherwise Superman is going to kick his ass: 5-3

Odds Lois knows a scientist who has an anti-Kyptonite vaccine to help Superman: 500-1

Odds that Batman discovers a new element that weakens Superman: 8-1

Odds that Alfred helps valet a suit made of Kryptonite for Batman: 2-1

Odds watching Jesse Eisenberg you will think about Heath Ledger: No Bets Accepted

Over/Under: Number of times the word “bat” will be appended to an object (not including Batman), such as batcave, batmobile or batdrone: 4.5

Odds Superman and Batman fight and destroy lots of stuff by the end of the second act, but a new terrifying threat or arch enemy surfaces and the two rivals join forces for the 3rd act: No bets accepted

 

After the movie

Odds upon leaving the theater you will hear someone mock-quote Burt Ward’s Robin and say “Holy high intensity action film, Batman” or something like that: 3-1

Odds a fan boy at work will spill a bunch of spoilers while loudly informing everyone that he saw the film on opening day: 5-3

Odds you will feel that the universal question you and every American over the age of five has grappled with — if Batman fought Superman, who would win? — still remains unanswered: No bets accepted

 

 

 

 

FacebookTwitterGoogle

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *